It was a very solemn occasion, at least for the administration. There were no excuses, just a spiral of shame, jealousy, sadness, ect. Couple relationshipsthe pains and pleasures, the anxieties and comforts, the craziness and calm. While Saul could only infect his soldiers with his own fears, Davids men became mighty men of war. Meanwhile, back in Jerusalem, Absalom arrived with his men and took the throne. consequences of sleeping with another man's wife. 13 So she grabbed him and kissed him, His son, Absalom, would kill another son, Amnon. They no longer even hide to do it these days and yet, there's a great punishment- which is death, for sleeping with another man's wife. It did not turn out as David had hoped. The remainder of chapter 23 is the hall of fame of those warriors who fought valiantly for David and for Israel. David took the initiative to send word to Zadok and Abiathar the priests, urging them to tell the elders not to delay any longer in welcoming him back to the throne. Here, David does not speak as a warrior, but as a writer and singer of songs. The guilt a person feels after infidelity is highly subjective, and the varying degrees of emotional disconnect depend on each individual. But if youve got a guiltless monster on your hands, your best bet is to catch her in the act. Berean Standard Bible So is he who sleeps with another man's wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished. He could have at least made his disapproval very public, as he had done when Joab murdered Abner (2 Samuel 3:27-39). There is no mistaking repentance in Davids words and actions: Then David exclaimed to Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord! Nathan replied to David, Yes, and the Lord has forgiven your sin. Even if you think your wife/girlfriend just slept with someone else, dont invade her privacy, dont force her to do anything. He did not go down to his house. If one is building a house with a roof which is used as we might use a balcony (which was common in the biblical world see Acts 10:ff. Phones, burner phones, video facetime, video calling, zoom, computers, DM's, a multitude of messaging methods, companies that are specifically designed for cheaters to find others, friends giving them permission by being a cover story for the cheaters, etc. There is no way to anticipate whom the sword will cut down. They will tell you EXACTLY why they though it was ok and it won't be gentle. he has gone on a journey of some distance. First, David chose not to be engaged in Israels battle with the Ammonites. David fought his Goliath years before, and now it became the task of some of his faithful men to carry on as David had. It may take a long time, or it may escalate very quickly And when it escalates, she's in the affair fog and that is VERY hard for a husband to compete with. Is it just me or is she actually dating someone behind my back? Of all the 10 signs your wife just slept with someone else, this one might be the most easily misconstrued, especially if her generic excuses hold weight. When Bathsheba learned that she was pregnant, she sent word to David. Robert L. (Bob)Deffinbaugh graduated from Dallas Theological Seminary with his Th.M. 25-27). English Standard Version So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife; none who touches her will go unpunished. Our text should remind us that even the greatest men in the Bible were men who had feet of clay (as a friend of mine would say, Im clay all the way up to my arm pits.). Davids sin was private, and it had everything to do with his public life and leadership. Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.". There are many, many men out there who never respect boundaries, who love the pursuit and are good at it, who will test, test, test women's boundaries and who would never say no to sex. The inevitable distance between two people in love, the restless neediness of love. I must say, therefore, that we should not judge Davids actions (or the actions of our contemporaries) in the light of our culture, but rather in the light of Gods Word. Third, our text has a great deal to teach us about leadership, especially about bad leadership. If you closely look for signs your wife is sleeping with someone else, you will realize that shes gone far away. So it is better if you remain in the city for support. 4 Then the king said to them, I will do whatever seems best to you. So the king stayed beside the gate, while all the army marched out by hundreds and by thousands (2 Samuel 18:2-4; see also 1 Kings 22:29-33). As an active member, get more personal faster reponses when you are looking for more immediate help. Not just the cheating spouse. I suspect it did (compare 2 Samuel 3:6-12). Sheba, a Benjamite, took advantage of the strife between Judah and the other tribes of Israel and announced a rebellion against David and Judah. After David had resumed his reign over Israel, the nation suffered a three-year famine. God allowed Davids sin to grow, unchecked, until his uncontrolled lust brought about the death of several Israelites and devastating consequences for Davids family and the nation. The poor do not have the privilege of complete privacy. In recent days, many Christian leaders have fallen into sexual sin (along with other sins). Yet Ryries Notes Say Otherwise. How much more so will they be holy today, along with their equipment! (1 Samuel 21:4-5). in the dark of the night. He should have died for his sins, and he did not. consequences of sleeping with another man's wife. So a few signs do slip by despite their attempts to pull themselves together. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. Davids plan was to have Uriah killed and then to do the magnanimous thing of taking his wife into his harem. If once in a blue moon you do get lucky, she might just ask you to do something different in bed. . That could simply be because she doesnt see a future with you, or shes a time traveler and knows the world is ending in the next ten years anyway. I dont know how long she thought she could get away with this. 15 The eye also of the adulterer waiteth for the twilight, saying, No eye shall see me: and disguiseth his face. Why David could not sense the potential risk in this is a wonder to me, but I suspect that his dullness in this area was related to his own moral collapse. You can fantasize about your confrontation and the shame and humiliation he would feel. 1 An adversary opposed Israel, inciting David to count how many warriors Israel had. 9 But Uriah stayed at the door of the palace with all the servants of his lord. We shall see this as we consider the sequence of events at his downfall. They won't feel shame or humiliation, you will. 10 So they informed David, Uriah has not gone down to his house. So David said to Uriah, Havent you just arrived from a journey? This is not necessarily unusual. Ittai the Gittite refused to leave the side of David, even though David encouraged him to do so (15:19-22). Once again, David seems to have some doubts about this, but he finally gives in, thereby becoming an unwitting participant in this killing. There are plenty of good looking single free women in this world. 21 She persuaded him with persuasive words; But now that the child was dead, David accepted this as from the Lord, confident that though the child could not come to him, he would someday join this child in heaven.180, It is not long before the promised consequences of Davids sin begin to unfold. This alliance between David and Joab would never have happened had David not, for the moment, become like Joab, a man whose violence David despised. Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here. The payoff [i.e., end result or consequence] of sin is death (Romans 6:23). The plague seems to have spread across Israel, because when the angel was stretching out his hand over Jerusalem (for the plague to fall on that city), the Lord stayed the judgment, and the city of Jerusalem was spared. Wife Accuses Top Lagos Pastor Of Sleeping With Church Members, http://citofgod..com/2014/10/why-you-should-not-sleep-with-another.html, Re: Dangers Of Sleeping With Another Mans Wife. I say this to your shame. You believe that God is one; you do well. My ex dated her after we amicably broke up. We celebrate the happy, imperfect love without judgment or bias, and strive to help people love more mindfully by viewing their relationship patterns from the lens of mental health and psychology. What David wanted, he could get, and without as much as a word of protest. I must pause here for a moment to say that what David did was not possible for most men, because they did not live in a palace that allowed them to look down on the world below. Follow us at: This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. We know its hard to, but try to walk a mile in your partners shoes before jumping to a conclusion. He recruited Ahithophel the Gilonite, who was formerly Davids trusted advisor. Its on her mind and its obvious to you. That means you can say goodbye to sex. Yeah, and that's the bit I imagine hurts the most. This naturally is going to make you popular with women, which for a single guy (or even a married guy) is a very good thing. Davids sin did bring divine discipline on the nation Israel, but our text makes it clear that they deserved to suffer because of their sin as a nation. Somewhere along the way Absalom set his mind on taking the kingdom from his father. Proverbs 6:29 (GNTA) It is just as dangerous to sleep with another man's wife. Second Samuel 11 begins with these words: In the spring of the year, at the time when kings normally conduct wars, David sent out Joab with his soldiers and the entire Israelite army. The Gibeonites should have been annihilated by the Israelites, but they were deceived and foolishly entered into a covenant with them that guaranteed their safety. She's heard all her husbands stories and jokes. It will eat us up. She might go into a panic and grab her phone away from you when she sees you anywhere near it. As surely as you are alive, I will not do this thing! (2 Samuel 11:7-11, emphasis mine). M To Davids credit, he took Joabs advice, and Davids men were encouraged. All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Realizing that Uriah has too much integrity to sleep with his wife during war, David changes his plans. Parallel Commentaries Verb - Nifal - Imperfect - third person masculine singular, To come forth to, appear, exist, to attain, find, acquire, to occur, meet, be present, Verb - Qal - Participle - masculine singular, Article | Verb - Qal - Participle - masculine singular, Conjunctive waw, Article | Noun - feminine singular, Conjunctive waw | Verb - Qal - Conjunctive perfect - third person common plural, Conjunctive waw | Verb - Piel - Conjunctive perfect - second person masculine singular, Preposition-m | Noun - proper - masculine singular, Israel -- 'God strives', another name of Jacob and his desc, The sex is to be distinguished by apparel, The bird is not to be taken with her young ones, The punishment of him who slanders his wife, OT Law: Deuteronomy 22:22 If a man be found lying (Deut. 22 But Absalom said nothing to Amnon, either bad or good, for Absalom hated Amnon because he had humiliated his sister Tamar (2 Samuel 13:21-22). She was pregnant and was crying out in birth pains and the agony of giving birth. It was David who ordered Tamar to go to Amnons house. I crush them and stomp on them like clay in the streets. Let me briefly call attention to a couple of very serious errors on Davids part. Although you have acted in secret, I will do this thing before all Israel, and in broad daylight (2 Samuel 12:9-12). No man is worthy of being our idol. . Sometimes, trying to answer things like Did my wife sleep with someone else? requires a more substantial analysis of the things your wife says or does, and not try to find circumstantial evidence. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. Physical or emotional intimacy of any kind will take a hit if she's lying about sleeping with someone else. When these seven were put to death and their bones along with the bones of Saul and Jonathan were buried in the grave of Kish, the famine ended. 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